What should be taught in the Safe Cycling Clinic for foreign workers

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM VALOUR - AFTERNOON

Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali were all flipping through and reading some papers at the meeting table. Ah Tan then walked up to the whiteboard and wrote the words "Safe cycling clinic for foreign workers in Singapore".

AH TAN: Okay guys, I've called for today's meeting to brainstorm on the syllabus for the Safe Cycling Clinic that we're planning for those foreign workers. Mr Teo needs this before the parliament meeting next week, so this is high priority.
AH LIM (rubbing his chin): Why only for foreign workers? I thought locals cycle also?
AH TAN: Yes, locals cycle too, but they don't cycle as if their grandfathers own the road!

All three men chuckled.

AH TAN: Anyway, last year, foreign workers made up one third of cyclist fatalities in Singapore, and we don't want to see them making up two third this year. So the North East CDC has suggested for this Safe Cycling Clinic. Let's work on it!

All three men folded their arms and leaned back on their chairs, all deep in thoughts. Suddenly Ah Lim opened his eyes and walked up to the whiteboard to write "Do not cycle next to the bus".

AH LIM: They should learn that here buses are kings. If all cars have to give way to the buses, don't expect the buses to give space to cyclists!

Both Ah Tan and Ali nodded in agreement. Then Ah Tan walked up to write "Do not cycle on the pedestrian crossing".

AH TAN: Pedestrian crossings are... for pedestrians. We've got enough cars knocking down pedestrians at pedestrian crossings. We don't need cyclists to help bring up the number. And this as well.

Ah Tan wrote "Do not cycle side by side" on the whiteboard.
AH LIM: Wah! They think everywhere East Coast Park ah!

Then Ali walked up and wrote "Do not cycle on the expressway" and both Ah Tan and Ah Lim shouted "Wow!".

AH TAN: Seriously? Cycle on the expressway?
ALI: Tan, I've seen cyclists on the AYE, KPE and BKE okay! These burgers must have thought they can cycle at 80km/hr!
AH LIM (berating): And these burgers deserved to be knocked down! Hello? When some idiot hog the road at 80km/hr, we already tailgate him like nobody's business. Now cyclist on expressway? They're just trying to be knocked down by cars! Oh! That also reminds me!

Ah Lim walked up and wrote "Do not cycle against the traffic".

AH TAN: Seriously? Against the traffic?
AH LIM: Stupid right? And this one!

Ah Lim continued to write "Do not beat the red lights".

All three men sighed and shook their heads.

AH TAN: You know, guys, sometimes I really wonder, is this how these guys cycle in their own countries? Then why are they still alive?
ALI: Because these behaviors are norm in their countries lah!
AH TAN: Well, then either these countries have no law, or their people have no brain.
AH LIM: Hey Tan, Boss said we're going to bring in at least 100,000 more foreign workers leh! Maybe we should do this Safe Cycling Clinic at their countries before we even let them into the country, if not very luan leh!

All three men looked at each other with mouths and eyes wide opened.


Safe cycling clinic,foreign workers

People can board the train, it is whether they choose to

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - EARLY MORNING

Ah Tan and Ah Lim walked in and joined Ms Saw at the pantry. She was having a cup of Starbucks while reading the newspapers.

AH LIM: Eh? Here got Starbucks meh?
MS SAW: Ah, I bought it at the mall on the way here.
AH LIM: Oh... but there is coffee in our pantry! You didn't know?
MS SAW: Er... Ah Lim, no offense, but these dark colored water aren't exactly coffee, you know?

Ah Lim stared at Ms Saw with eyes and mouth wide opened. He muttered half a "what" and stopped abruptly, then picked up his cup of pantry coffee and drink silently. Ms Saw continued to sip her Starbucks coffee.

AH TAN: So... what brings you here? I would have imagined you to be pretty busy these days with the recent security lapse incident.
AH LIM (interrupted): Yah! I thought you should be busy fixing your depot fence?

Ms Saw put down her coffee and stared at Ah Lim this time.

MS SAW: I know that was a serious security lapse in our depot, so I've already instructed my men to work on it ASAP. But this incident also reaffirms the importance of the public’s participation and support in reporting any suspicious sightings in our system. The public needs to do their work as well, you know?
AH LIM: Wah! You're the highest-grossing CEO that your company has ever employed and after receiving $1.67 million last year, you still need the public to do your job ah?

Ms Saw slammed her right palm on the table and stood up from her chair. Her face was as red as a tomato and her eyes as big as fishballs. Ah Tan immediately stood up and tapped her shoulder lightly.

AH TAN: Hey Saw, don't mind him. He has just lost lotsa money because of France, Italy and England.
AH LIM (stood up and bowed slightly to Ms Saw): Er... yah... sorry lah, didn't mean to be rude lah...

Ms Saw let out a sigh and sat down slowly.

MS SAW: I didn't get all those money for nothing you know? I have a whole transport company to take care of, I've gotta make sure my shareholders are happy with our profit, and I've got a whole country of commuters to please! It's not a very pleasant job you know?

Both men nodded in agreement obediently.

AH TAN: Anyway, is your company planning to procure any more new trains?
MS SAW: Erm... not that I heard of... why do you ask?
AH TAN: Er... because the trains are already overcapacity?
MS SAW: I don't understand.
AH LIM: He's meaning to say, the trains are already overcrowded!
MS SAW (made a "tsk" sound at Ah Lim): I can understand the word "overcapacity"! What I meant was, why do you guys, or even the whole country, have the impression that the trains are overcapacity?
AH LIM (eyes wide opened): You mean, you didn't know your trains are overcrowded?

Ms Saw shook her hand at Ah Lim, shook her head, and took a sip from her coffee before continuing.

MS SAW: Trains will be crowded during peak hours. The question is, how crowded? Have you ever seen seen the trains in Hong Kong, Taipei and Shanghai? That is what you call overcrowded. Our trains? They are not!
AH TAN: But from the pictures posted on the Internet and the letters submitted to forums, it appears that the people do feel that our trains are overcrowded. Maybe not as bad as Hong Kong, Taipei or Shanghai, but still overcrowded.
MS SAW: Look, Ah Tan, even at its most crowded, our train carries 1,400 passengers. This is not crush load! Our train is not carrying more passengers than the standing load it is designed to carry under normal circumstances! You don't find people sitting at the top of the train like India right? You don't find people squeezing themselves into the train through the windows like China right? Look, people can board the train, it is whether they choose to.

Ms Saw gave a "tell me I'm right" face to the men and took another sip from her coffee.

AH LIM (rubbing his chin): But then hor... seriously, have you ever taken your train before?
MS SAW (exclaiming in shock): Are you crazy? Then what's my Merz for?


Saw Phaik Hwa,SMRT CEO,train,overcapacity

What we have are foreign talented hookers, not sex trafficking victims!

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM VIGILANCE - MORNING

Mr Teo entered the room holding an opened notebook in his right hand. Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali stood up to greet him. Mr Teo signaled all to be seated.

AH TAN: Er... Sir, you're holding a... notebook?
MR TEO (grinning): Yes! From now on, I'll come into meetings with my notebook instead of the usual email printouts! We need to move together with time, you know? Even Khaw is meeting his people on Skype!

The three men nodded to show agreement and support.

MR TEO (turned his notebook to face the men): Gentlemen, the boorish America has done something terrible to us! They placed us on the Tier Two Watch List in their 2010 Trafficking in Persons Report! Alongside those third world countries like Bangladesh, China and India!
ALI: This is bad, man...
MR TEO (heatedly): This is not bad! This is outrageous!
AH TAN (reading from the notebook screen): There were no labour trafficking prosecutions or convictions during the reporting period. The Singapore Government showed an inadequate response to the sex trafficking problem in Singapore...
AH LIM: Oh... so it's because of sex trafficking?

The three men looked at each other in silent. Mr Teo turned the notebook back to face him then closed it.

MR TEO (sternly): Yes. I was puzzled when I read the report for the first time, I mean... how can Singapore be even be suspected of trafficking? Then like you, Lim, I realised that they are making the accusation because of sex trafficking. They are blaming us that women from China, the Philippines and Thailand had been tricked into coming to Singapore with promises of legitimate employment and coerced into the sex trade.
AH LIM: Oh... so the US officials have been to Geylang?

Mr Teo slammed his right palm on the table hard and stood up, while staring at Ah Lim irately.

MR TEO (berating): That is not the point! The point is, who are they to accuse us? Who are they to rank us so low? Singapore is always number one! This is an insult to us! And in the first place, can the US rank itself in Tier One when it is well known that the US has been unable to stem a flood of illegal workers, many of whom are trafficked by organised criminal gangs? They have not been able to cope adequately with this problem and that is among the reasons why immigration is such a hot political issue in the US! Maybe they should examine its own record more carefully before presuming to pronounce on other countries!

The three men nodded in agreement anxiously and waited for Mr Teo to calm down.

MR TEO: I tell you, this is more of a political ritual than an objective study. The whole report is a joke!
AH TAN: Actually I too think that the report is incorrect. If a woman entered Singapore legally but was abused, we will classify her as an immigration offender, nothing to do with sex trafficking.
MR TEO: Exactly!
AH LIM: Mmm... so the US officials have not been to Geylang...

All turned to look at Ah Lim stunningly.

ALI: Ah Lim, really, what has the report got to do with Geylang?
AH LIM: You see... first of all, those women from China, the Philippines and Thailand did not enter the country illegally. We give them work permits and invited them to come into the country as foreign talents! Yes we're giving away work permits freely, but that is not considered trafficking right?
MR TEO (rubbing his chin): You can say that...

Ah Lim grinned with satisfaction at Mr Teo's agreement with him. He then cleared his throat and continued.

AH LIM: Yes, we have more prostitutes than we used to have, but this is unavoidable right? As the population grows, these so-called low class jobs are shunned by the locals, so we have to bring in more foreign prostitutes! And then, these women are not abused what! Just take a stroll down the alleys in Geylang and you can see how happy they look! Just by sleeping with the generous Singaporean men, they earn so much more than what they make in their countries! They love us okay! Where got abuse?
ALI: Er... Ah Lim, you seems to know a lot about those women at Geylang...

Ah Lim froze in his seat and suddenly, blood rushed to his face.


2010 Trafficking in Persons Report,Hillary Clinton,Tier Two Watch List,Ministry of Foreign Affairs,MFA,human trafficking,sex trafficking

We believe you have someone in your country who belongs to us

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - EARLY MORNING

Ah Tan and Ah Lim found George having coffee and frowning on a piece of paper as they walked into the pantry. Both walked over to join the lonely George.

AH LIM: Wah George, what bad news are you reading early in the morning?
GEORGE (looked up and stared blankly at both men): Oh Lim! Tan! You guys here for coffee break already?
AH TAN: Yap, had a morning conf call and had to skip breakfast, so decided to have an early coffee break. What are you reading anyway?
GEORGE: Oh, I'm drafting a letter.

George smiled and nodded, then got back to his reading.

GEORGE (mumbling to himself): Dear Sir, we believe you have someone in your country who belongs to us...
AH LIM: You writing to Romania again to ask for that hit-and-run driver ah?

George stopped reading abruptly, looked up and frowned at Ah Lim.

GEORGE: No, I'm not writing to Romania again.
AH LIM (stared at George in shock): Har? So we're going to let that Romanian guy go? Got people dead leh!
AH TAN (interrupted): Lim! Aiyo, didn't you read the newspapers? That guy is already in the custody of Romanian authorities and they'll look into the case!
AH LIM (frowning): Sure or not? They're all Romanians leh! Scali the judge and that ex-diplomat kawan kawan then how?
GEORGE: Lim, don't worry. We'll keep track of the progress.

George smiled and got back to his reading again.

GEORGE (mumbling to himself): Dear Sir, we believe you have someone in your country who belongs to us...
AH LIM: Oh I know! You're writing to Malaysia to ask them for that Selamat guy!

George stopped reading abruptly again, looked up and stared at Ah Lim, amazed.

GEORGE: No, I'm not writing to Malaysia... and why will we want to have that Selamat back?
AH LIM (stared at George in shock): Har? You don't want him back meh? After all the effort we took to locate him?!
GEORGE: Precisely! What if after we've got him back, we lose him again?
AH TAN: That's true, Lim. We used to lose him and had to bother Indonesia to return him to us, then now it's Malaysia. If we don't own him, then we won't have the danger of losing him again right?
AH LIM (scratching his head): That sounds kind of right...
GEORGE (patting Lim on his shoulder): Lim, don't worry. We'll keep track of him.

George sat up, adjusted his glasses and got back to his reading again.

GEORGE (mumbling to himself): Dear Sir, we believe you have someone in your country who belongs to us...
AH LIM: Oh I get it already lah! This time my guess sure correct one! You're writing to Hong Kong to ask them for that Briton guy who drew all that graffiti on the MRT train with another Swiss guy!

George stopped reading abruptly again. This time, he put down the paper and sighed.

GEORGE: Lim, no! I'm writing to China to ask them for that table tennis woman who came here to play for us but now resigned and gone back to China!


Silviu Ionescu,Mas Selamat,Lloyd Dane Alexander,Li Jiawei

All kinds of valid reasons for all kinds of major audit lapses

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM VIGILANCE - MORNING

Mr Teo and the Audit Officer entered the room, both with stern and straight faces. Ah Tan, Lui and Chinnam stood up to greet the two men. Mr Teo just nodded and signaled them to be seated.

MR TEO: Guys, the Officer here has already completed his analysis on the audit findings, and I must assure you that I'm very unhappy with what he has found out.

Lui and Chinnam suddenly felt a drip of cold sweat flowing down their spine.

MR TEO: You may disclose the findings to them.

The Audit Officer took a few pieces of papers out from his thick document file and cleared his throat before addressing the men.

OFFICER: The committee is gravely concerned with a large number of lapses that reflect poorly on the overall internal controls of your department.

The Audit Officer made a dramatic pause to glance at the bloodless faces of Lui and Chinnam.

OFFICER (continued to read from the papers): We found laxity in procurement and contract management, lack of rigour in scrutiny by the approving authorities and too light a touch in ministry-statutory board dealings.

Chinnam made a sudden strong gasp which was clearly audible in the graveyard quiet room.

MR TEO (interrupted sternly): Guys, I'm very concerned. These lapses taken together reflect poorly on the overall internal controls of your department. Officer, please continue.
OFFICER: The committee noted that you had entered into a two-year contract valued at $933,312 to outsource some of your enforcement functions. But before the start of the contract, it was already discovered that some of the functions could not be outsourced due to legal reasons. But still, your department did not seek a reduction in the contract price for the reduced scope of work.
CHINNAM (interrupted): I can explain that!

All men at the table turned to look at Chinnam.

CHINNAM: Yes, the scope of work has been reduced, but since the vendor had committed to deploy the same level of manpower for the reduced work scope, we decided not to reduce the price but to redeploy the surplus manpower instead. I mean, since we've already budgeted for it right?
LUI (whispering to himself): And if we don't spend our budget, it will be reduced next year...
MR TEO (turned to Lui): Did you say something?
LUI (shocked): No Sir, sorry...

Ah Tan kicked Lui slightly under the table. He then gave Lui a nobody-talks-about-fight-club look. Lui returned a oops-sorry look.

MR TEO: So where were the surplus manpower deployed to then?
CHINNAM (fidgeting in his seat): Er... they helped out in the office... for admin stuff like to deliver internal mails, photocopying and... printing out and documenting all the policies and... tidying up the storeroom...

MR TEO shook his head and signalled the Audit Officer to continue.

OFFICER: We also found undue delay in refunding $6.06 million in radio and television licence fees, the committee noted that at the time of the audit in November 2008, the department was still processing refunds called for back in 2005.
CHINNAM (interrupted): Wait wait! This has been resolved!

All men at the table turned to look at Chinnam again.

CHINNAM: Since last October, two automated processes have been put in place to increase the efficiency of refunds and we have since completed making the refunds! So this issue should be closed!
OFFICER: But you took one whole year to put in place the automated processes and which means in total you took four years to refund the fees!
LUI (whispering to himself): Four years okay what...

Mr Teo turned to look at Lui, who then stared back blankly. Ah Tan kicked Lui slightly under the table. He then gave Lui another nobody-talks-about-fight-club look. Lui returned a oops-sorry look once again.

MR TEO: Chinnam, why did it take so long to implement the automated processes?
CHINNAM (fidgeting in his seat): Sir, the refund process is very complicated. Very complicated. It is not as easy as it sounds. It is a very complicated process to refund the right amount of money to the right people. This is essential to ensure that we do not make a single mistake, because this concerns money. So we had to employ a very sophisticated IT company to have their very sophisticated engineers work on a very sophisticated database. Very sophisticated. Mr Teo, I assure you, the database is a state-of-art and we should not have this refund problem moving forward.

Mr Teo nodded silently.

OFFICER: We also found under-collection of broadcasting licence fees amounting to $0.84 million. This occurred after your department did not apply the normal non-concessionary rate for two broadcasting licences even after the concessionary period had ended.

Mr Teo looked at Chinnam and waited for an answer.

CHINNAM: Er... we have since instituted a procedure to track and ensure compliance with licence conditions.
MR TEO: And you are confident that this procedure works?
CHINNAM (nodding): Don't worry, Sir, we have another checkpoint procedure to ensure that this procedure works, and another procedure to review the checkpoint procedure periodically, and one last procedure to internally audit the review procedure.

AH TAN (whispering to himself): And I'm already feeling giddy from the swirl created by all your procedures...

Media Development Authority,MDA,Public Accounts Committee report,Ministry of Information, Communications and the Arts,Mica

Criticise the government some more? We'll cut your funding!

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - EARLY MORNING

Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali were having their morning break at the pantry when Lui joined them.

AH TAN: Hey Lui, long time no see! What were you busy with?
LUI (grunting): Ah... you have no idea how fed up I was!
AH LIM: Orh... busy with the Singapore Arts Festival har?
LUI (shaking his head): No, no... that I have left it to my men.
AH TAN: Hmm... you don't have to screen those performances before the public gets to see it?
LUI: Nah, as long as there's no gay content and naked body, they can show anything to the public. It's not as if I understand any of those performance anyway!
ALI (chuckled): Hahaha... yah man! Especially those contemporary dance! Totally no idea what are they trying to portray! Aku data wu!

All men laughed and sipped their coffee and tea.

LUI: Ali, these contemporary dances and theaters are good, you know? Though nobody understands them and some pretend to do so, these Ang Mohs are harmless. Whereas our own local theaters, these are the people we should be worried about!
AH LIM: Why leh?
LUI: These local theaters... they thought they can say anything and show anything behind closed doors, but they forgot that we've got ears everywhere! Ha!
AH LIM: What did they do?
LUI: Have you heard of this local theatre company called Wild Rice?
ALI: I only know nasi lemak and nasi goreng!

Ah Lim laughed and punched Ali lightly on his left arm.

AH TAN: Yah, I know them. In fact, I've attended a couple of their performances, like their local version of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty, damn funny!

Lui gave Ah Tan a hard stare. Like a laser ray that will burn through stones.

AH TAN (shocked): What?
LUI (frowning): How dare you find them funny!
AH TAN (frowning too): Why not?
LUI (raising his voice): These are the ungrateful clowns that put up performances that promoted alternative lifestyles, were critical of government policies and satirised political leaders!
ALI: Apa ini?

Lui turned and gave Ali a hard stare this time.

LUI: It means they have gay content in their shows!
AH LIM (softly to Ah Tan): So the Sleeping Beauty was a man?
AH TAN (softly back to Ah Lim): No lah!
LUI: Not all their shows, but most of their shows!
AH LIM: Oh... hehe... paiseh!
LUI: And they make fun of and criticise our policies, some daring one even joke about our bosses! Can you imagine that? Making fun of our Big Boss?
ALL MEN (together): Wow!
LUI (berating): They even organise a biennial festival showcasing local scripts that take on political issues in a cheeky way! How dare them!

Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali sipped their coffee and tea in silence.

ALI: But brudder, you can't put all of these people in jail for making fun of the government right? Our prison not so big, yeh?
LUI (shaking his head and giggling): No, no, no... I've got a better idea to punish them!

Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali waited for Lui to stop his evil giggle before continuing.

AH TAN: So what's your great idea of punishment?
LUI: These art people need money to do their little plays right?
AH TAN: And then?
LUI: So I'll cut their funding! I'll cut their annual grant! Let's see how are they going to perform without money! Hahaha...

Quietly, Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali watched Lui laughed.

AH LIM (whispering to Ah Tan): I think he's the perfect role as the evil queen of Snow White...


NAC,National Arts Council,Wild Rice

Accusations that employers prefer to hire foreigners are so unfounded!

INT.ITALIAN RESTAURANT - EARLY AFTERNOON

Ah Tan, Ah Lim, Ali and few other colleagues were seated in a newly opened posh Italian Restaurant. They were flipping and studying the slightly weighted posh menu seriously while the waitress stood by their table. After Ah Tan made his order, he turned to talk to Halimah who was sitting next to him.

AH TAN: Halimah, I heard that recently your panel has been investigating on some work discrimination issues?
HALIMAH: Yes, Tan, and you know what? Those accusations that employers prefer to hire foreigners over Singaporeans are so unfounded doi! Just like what we've expected!
ALI (speaking to the waitress in a slightly loud and impatient voice): What you say?

Waitress mumbled something in heavy accent.

ALI (frowning): Alamak, I don't understand you lah! Adoi!
AH TAN (shouting over to Ali): Ali! She's asking you how you want your Homestyle Roast Duck to be done!
ALI (still frowning and shouting over to Ah Tan): Brudder! This is duck not beef yah? How I know duck also got rare or not rare doi!
AH TAN (chuckled): Hahaha... so how do you want it to be done?
ALI (to the waitress): Well done, of course! Who wants to eat raw duck?

The waitress hurriedly wrote down Ali's order.

AH TAN (turned towards Halimah): Sorry, where were we?
HALIMAH: Oh... that we found out that it is so not true employers prefer to hire foreigners over Singaporeans.
AH TAN (nodding): Yah, sometimes I wonder where these folks get their ideas from!
HALIMAH: In the cases we have intercepted, employers say this is based on the qualifications of the person and not nationalities yah. If given a choice, they'll always want to hire a local yah!

Ah Tan and Halimah were again interrupted by some commotion on the other side of the table.

AH LIM (speaking to the waitress in a slightly loud and impatient voice): Har?! Can you repeat?

Waitress mumbled something in heavy accent.

AH LIM (frowning): Walau eh...

Ah Lim then spoke to the waitress in Mandarin. Delightfully, the waitress nodded and wrote down his order, then walked away.

ALI: Brudder, what she want sia?
AH LIM: Orh, she was asking me for the French Onion Soup, I want cheese on it or not lah! Walau eh, her English damn cannot make it leh!
ALI (nodding eagerly): Yah man!

HALIMAH (continued): You know, the vice-president of the National Employers Federation was saying, very often, there is some misunderstanding on why foreigners are hired over Singaporeans. In actual fact, it has got to do with the job requirements and it is never true that foreigners are chosen because they're cheaper and willing to work longer hours. Such words of wisdom right?

Ah Tan nodded in agreement.

HUA HUA (interrupted): You know, the locals must avoid developing irrational fears toward new immigrants. They ought to prepare for, rather than resist, an increased willingness among people worldwide to travel and relocate.
AH TAN (turned to Hua Hua who was seated on his other side): Yah, sometimes I don't know why are they so afraid of the foreigners!
ALI (speaking to the waitress in a slightly loud and impatient voice): Hey! I didn't order this!

Waitress mumbled something in heavy accent.

ALI (frowning): Adoi! I didn't order this sia!
AH LIM: Ali, what did you order?
ALI (frowning even harder): Brudder! I ordered grape juice but she gives me grapefruit juice sia!

AH TAN (continued): Anyway I heard that the mass recruitment at Taiwan went on pretty well!
HUA HUA (nodding and grinning): Yap! We actually started an agency to mass recruit thousands of Taiwanese PMETs in fields such as healthcare, engineering and social media to fill up vacancies here.
AH TAN: But how do you convince the Taiwanese to come all the way here to work? I suppose it's not as easy as recruiting in China or India right?
HUA HUA (shaking her head): No no, it's a totally different ball game. To bring in people from China or India is very easy and we never have problem bringing in truckloads of them. But for the Taiwanese, we need to attract them with a different strategy. We're paying them thrice the amount they'll ever get in Taiwan!
AH TAN (eyes wide opened): Wow! How can they ever resist that! So those positions cannot be filled by the locals here?
HUA HUA (with a stunned looked): Oh... that I don't know... Hmm... didn't thought of that man...

On the other side of the table, the commotion continued.

ALI (frowning and talking to Ah Lim): Brudder, this looks rare to me sia! I wanted well done! Can't they get someone who understands English to come talk to me?
AH LIM: Brudder, you can't see meh? All the waitresses here are not local lah!

Lim Hwee Hua,irrational fears toward new immigrants,Halimah Yacob,Tripartite Alliance for Fair Employment Practices,Contact Singapore

We can't control the rising HDB resale prices, wet market rental hikes and another other hike

EXT - CC MULTIPURPOSE HALL - EARLY MORNING

Ah Tan and Ah Lim slowly walked up to the stage as the audience stood and clapped. A couple of grinning senior RC members led the way and another handful of grinning junior members followed behind. Ah Tan and Ah Lim were shown to the seats in the middle of the stage. After they were seated, the senior RC members settled themselves on the left and right flanks. The emcee then made a short introduction to the audience.

AH LIM (leaning towards Ah Tan and whispering): Hey Tan, this is not going to take long right? I've got to go for a high-tea later leh...
AH TAN (whispering back): Don't worry lah, won't be long one.
AH LIM (still whispering): By the way hor, today's event can claim off-in-lieu or not? Sunday morning leh!
AH TAN (still whispering back): I think so bah, better check with Mr Teo.
EMCEE (finishing his introduction): And now, let's hear from our honorable Mr Tan!

The emcee handed over the microphone to Ah Tan and the audience clapped excitedly. Ah Tan recited fluently the message that his secretary has drafted for him and ended it with a smile. The audience clapped passionately again.

EMCEE: Okay, you may now ask the honorable Mr Tan questions. Who's going to start the ball rolling?

A young man in polo t-shirt walked over to the microphone in the middle of the hall.

YOUNG MAN IN POLO: Mr Tan, the HDB prices are getting higher and higher everyday and just recently a penthouse maisonette in Bishan Street 24 was sold for $900k! That is even more expensive than those private condominium! The HDB resale prices are getting out of hand and this is soon going to be another property bubble waiting to be burst! Isn't the government going to do anything about it?

The young man ended his question with a stern look and walked back to his seat.

AH LIM (nudging Ah Tan): Wow... that question again...
AH TAN (holding up the microphone): These resale prices are set by individual households who transact flats on a willing buyer, willing seller basis, and are affected by movements and sentiments in the wider economy, including the private property market. Hence, we do not have control over prices of resale flats.

A wave of murmurs grew among the audience.

EMCEE (shouting into the microphone to overcome the noise in the crowd): Okay, let's continue with another question!

A dark skinny middle-aged man walked up to the microphone.

DARK MIDDLE-AGED MAN: Sir, Sheng Siong has increased our wet market rental by a 30%! Like that very difficult to do business! I can't even earn enough to cover rental! Can government ask them don't increase so much or not?

The dark middle-aged man frowned and walked slowly back to his seat.

AH LIM (whispering to Ah Tan): Sorry, forgot to warn you about this one...
AH TAN (holding up the microphone): Well, I won't complain if I were you...

Ah Tan was interrupted with a wave of loud clamor in the audience.

EMCEE (shouting into the microphone): People! People! We can't hear Mr Tan with your noise! Can we let Mr Tan finish?

As the clamor quieted down, Ah Tan held up the microphone again to continue.

AH TAN: When Sheng Siong planned to take over six wet markets, they have wanted to convert them into supermarkets. But we told them that the wet markets have to stay because they do not meet the criteria for conversion into supermarkets. If we didn't do anything at that time, you won't even have a wet market now.

Ah Tan paused as he noticed that he was speaking louder in dismay.

AH TAN: Sheng Siong’s managing director Lim Hock Chee had already explained that he had no choice but to increase rental rates in order to recoup their $25 million purchase of the wet markets. And anyway this is a private matter between Sheng Siong and the stall owners. Hence, we do not have control over rental prices of wet market stalls.

Another wave of murmurs grew among the audience.

EMCEE (shouting into the microphone to overcome the noise in the crowd): Okay, Mr Tan has already answered you. Let's continue with another question!

A plump middle-aged woman with heavy makeup walked up to the microphone.

PLUMP WOMAN: Hello Mr Tan, the electricity bill is going up again next month. Every quarter also increase, already increased four times liao! Everytime also say because oil price increase! My monthly electricity bill already more than $100 liao, if like that sooner or later will become $200! How can the government let them anyhow increase price one?

The plump middle-aged woman sighed and walked back to her seat.

AH LIM (nudging Ah Tan): Electricity bill got increase again meh?
AH TAN (holding up the microphone): Madam, SP Services has already explained that this hike is due to a continued increase in fuel oil prices. I trust that they've done ample investigation before increasing the tariff. The Energy Market Authority has already approved the revised tariff, and furthermore, SP Services has already been privatised. Hence, we do not have control over the cost of electricity.

Yet another wave of murmurs grew among the audience.

As the emcee attempted to control the crowd again, Ah Lim took out a piece of tissue to wipe the perspire off his forehead.

AH LIM (whispering to Ah Tan): Hey, don't you find this multipurpose hall very hot?
AH TAN (whispering): I think it's because there're only a couple of fans on the stage and one of them is not working.
AH LIM (whispering): Walau... can't they do anything about it?
AH TAN (whispering): Don't worry, this multipurpose hall will have aircon soon enough.
AH LIM (whispering with eyes wide open): Wow... really ah?
AH TAN (whispering with a grin): Yap, really. Because we're going to increase the town council service and conservancy fees. That, we can control!

HDB resale price,Sheng Siong,wet market rental,electricity tariff,town council service and conservancy fees

Great suggestions to make the country a better place... for the foreigners!

INT.OFFICE - CAFETERIA - EARLY AFTERNOON

Ah Tan, Ah Lim, Ali and a few other senior executives were having lunch together at a long table.

AH LIM (chewing his chicken rice and shaking his head at the same time): Wah, that was one long meeting with Mr Teo man!
ALI (scooping a spoonful from his nasi lemak): Brudder, later still got round two sia!
AH TAN (cutting his chicken chop): But it's brainstorming session later right? Guess it shouldn't be too stressful. Khaw, I heard you're going to start the ball rolling?

While Khaw nodded, he put his spoon down on the plate of roasted duck rice and took a sip from his iced lemon tea.

KHAW: Yah, I'll be giving some suggestions to resolve the hospital bed crunch issue.
AH LIM (looked up from his chicken rice): Huh? Why? Our hospital beds not enough meh?
KHAW (nodding): Yah, especially last week during the end of the Chinese New Year. Those pantan ones who had avoided hospitalisation during the festive period suddenly made a beeline for the beds. Tan Tock Seng was overflowing, then other hospitals went to its aid and in the end that caused them to suffer a bed crunch as well.
AH TAN: Wow, that must be agonizing for the patients!
KHAW: Hmm... I won't put it that way though. Even though there wasn't enough beds, the quality of care is not compromised while patients wait for their assigned wards.
AH TAN: That's good to know. So what's your suggestion then?
KHAW (in a solemn tone): Tell the people to avoid getting sick on Mondays and Tuesday.

Suddenly, Ali chocked on his nasi lemak and everyone looked at him. As he shook his left hand to imply that he was fine, his right hand reached for his teh-C. Khaw cleared his throat and continued.

KHAW: After a few months of comprehensive and holistic analysis, my ministry has concluded that Mondays and Tuesdays are the days when bed occupancy rates are at their highest, when the number of people needing beds exceeds that available. So our suggestion is to prevent the people from getting sick on Mondays and Tuesday.
AH TAN (puzzled): And... how are you guys going to achieve that goal?
KHAW (smiling): We'll put up posters in all of our hospitals, urging people not to fall sick on these two days. We can have slogans like "Why fall sick on the busy Mondays and Tuesdays when there are five other days in the week to choose from!"
AH TAN: Erm... that's quite a mouthful for a slogan.
KHAW (chuckled): Hahaha... that's just one of those little ideas that just sprung from my head! Of course we'll outsource to a good professional design firm and leave the poster design to them!

All at the table nodded in agreement and continued with their lunch.

SEAH: We need to do more for new migrants.

All at the table looked up to find Seah suddenly talking. Seah slowly took out a piece of tissue to wipe his mouth before continuing.

SEAH: More needs to be done to help new immigrants work with the old team and feel a part of us.
AH LIM (looked up from his half-finished chicken rice): I thought we're already going to spend $10 million to integrate these people liao?
SEAH (staring at Ah Lim in dismay): What do you mean by 'these people'? They're our precious new immigrants! Heck, they shouldn't even be called new migrants! That's too rude! They should be called new Singaporeans!
AH LIM (sitting back): Hey, relax man!
SEAH: We must respect these new Singaporeans, my friend. They are definitely not new migrants - they are an old hand at migrating, and want a new life. They want to settle down and to make Singapore a new home. And we should be thankful to them for choosing Singapore!

Suddenly, Ali chocked on his nasi lemak again and everyone looked at him again. As he shook his left hand to imply that he was fine again, his right hand reached for his teh-C again. Seah frowned at Ali before continuing.

AH TAN: But Seah, we've already set aside $10 million to help them integrate, like teaching them English and organizing activities at the neighborhoods. I suppose we've already done enough.
SEAH (shaking his head): No, no, no... Did you guys even realize that no large scale survey has been done to find out what these new Singaporeans need? What they actually need? We have not done any large scale survey, we do not know their problems but we have already gone ahead and decided that the funds will go towards organizing activities. But songs, dances and performances are entertaining but do we perhaps need something more?
AH TAN (raising his left eye brow): And... what are you suggesting?
SEAH: If it is language skills, then we should subsidize language classes!
AH TAN: Like I said, we've already started quite a large number of affordable English lessons...
SEAH (ignoring Ah Tan and continuing): If it is educational information, or integration at schools, then we ought to target that! With 20,000 migrants becoming new citizens each year, we should reward such parents with some form of baby bonus when they have a new Singapore baby!
AH TAN: You mean the same kind of baby bonus that we're giving our real Singapore citizens? But that might blur the line between the citizens and these new immigrants... I mean, new Singaporeans.
SEAH (raising his voice): Hello? Didn't you hear me just now? I have made the argument for national integration with new Singaporeans on the basis that they are members of the same team. So since we're all in the same team, they should have all the privileges that the citizens have!
AH TAN: Hmm... I'm not so sure if that will please the citizens...
SEAH (scorned): Who cares about those citizens?

All at the table stared blankly at Seah for a second, then continued with their lunch.

ONG (cleared his throat): I've got a brilliant idea to move up our productivity level. I'll be suggesting that later.
AH TAN: You mean, besides all the trainings that we're going to force down the peoples' throats?

All at the table laughed.

ONG (chuckled): Hahaha... hey, my suggestion is more cost saving than those expensive trainings that might not even be useful!
AH TAN: And so your brilliant idea is?
ONG: First, create some kind of benchmark of productivity level to judge our local workers. Then the moment they fail, sack them!

Suddenly, Ali chocked on his last spoonful of nasi lemak and everyone turned to shout at him "Ali!". Ali lifted up his left hand and nodded with an apologetic smile.

AH TAN: Er... sack them?
ONG: Yah! Sack them! Let me tell you this... there was one family at my constituency who complained that the cleaners in their precinct were lazy and too old. Hey, they don’t want local workers who are old, they want young foreign workers! So to satisfy the demand, I made a quick decision and changed the local workers to foreign workers! Foreign workers are not a burden to us. Their presence here is not negative. Without foreign workers, things will be worse! If local workers cannot perform, we can't be soft and just close one eye and forgive them! So what if they're old? The foreign workers are cheaper and more hardworking! God, I'll say bring them all in!
AH LIM (swallowing his last spoonful of chicken rice): But... but I thought Boss said we're supposed to bring in less foreign workers, not more?

All at the table paused to stare at Ah Lim for a second then laughed.

Marine Parade GRC MP,Seah Kian Peng,new migrants,new immigrants,Yishun MP,Ong Ah Heng,Health Minister,Khaw Boon Wan,hospital bed crunch

Raising foreign worker levy means depending less on foreign workers?

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM PRODUCTIVITY - AFTERNOON

Chairing at the table was Mr Teo who was flipping through some papers in his hands. Ah Tan, Ah Lim, Ali and some other senior executives were seated at the table.

MR TEO: Ladies and gentlemen, today we're here to brainstorm on how to implement the foreign worker levy hike as a means to control their number. Boss has suggested implementing this levy increment carefully over the next three years. As you know, it is not logical to suddenly increase the levy by like a hundred dollars, thus we need to do it slow. Now we have to come up with a plan to implement it efficiently.
JESSICA: Sir, although the rise in levy is graduated over three years, there is concern expressed by some business leaders that this may impede the ability of companies to make more money as their capacity will be impacted. Currently they can sack their local workers and replace every one with three to four. With the levy, they may only be able to replace one with two.

Some others at the table nodded their heads in agreement.

MR TEO: Jessica, good point. But that is why Boss has not stressed enough on the importance of improving productivity!
JESSICA: But Sir, we can only teach the locals to be productive, and productivity improvements of local talent will not be immediate and it will take companies some time to implement longer working hours and money to buy more machines to innovate and achieve greater productivity.
MR TEO: How difficult can it be? All they need to do is to tell the locals that if they are not taking up more jobs, a foreign worker is always ready to replace them! That shall push the locals to work harder! As for the machines, just get second-hand ones!

Ah Lim put up his right hand. All looked towards his direction.

AH LIM: Er... so if we can make the locals work harder and increase their productivity levels, we don't need foreign workers anymore?
JESSICA (shaking her head): No, it doesn't work that way. Foreign workers can never be replaced by locals. It is especially difficult, in the short term at least, to change the mindset of Singaporeans to take up certain jobs in industries like construction which is seen as strenuous and dirty, and some services jobs that require long hours of standing like soliciting at Geylang.

Some men at the table nodded their heads in agreement. One of them appeared to have even whispered to the person next to him "And they're prettier too". Send put up his right hand. All looked towards his direction.

SENG: Jessica is right. We need these foreign workers. If we do not have enough manpower and other resources to take added new orders in the world markets, we may lose all our customers and business opportunities to our competitors very quickly. For example, everybody knows that a lot of those MNCs have shifted their operations to India. But if we can bring in the Indians from India, these MNCs will give us their business instead!
ALI: But I heard that those Indians are giving a lot of problems to those MNCs! They have long turn-around-time and make lots of mistake! They even openly refuse to work during the cricket season! They have low productivity! They're even more relax than us!
MR TEO (grunted): Ali, didn't you read the memo? We're only concerned with raising the productivity of the locals. Never the foreign workers! We all know how low their productivity is! Just take a look at the roadworks when you drive to work! Why are those simple roadworks taking such a long time to finish? Didn't you often see three to four workers looking at one worker working? So yes, we know they are damn slow, we know their productivity level is damn low, but they're cheap so it's okay!

Ali gave an "Oh!" apologetic look and scratched his head. A skinny man seated at the furthest corner slowly raised his right hand. Mr Teo frowned.

LOW: Sir, I'm just thinking... after we've raised the foreign worker levy, won't the businesses be inclined pass the additional cost to their customers? The F&B businesses could increase the prices of the food and drinks; the transportation businesses could increase the prices of public transport; the construction businesses could increase the cost of building our flats, and in turn to cover this cost, HDB could increase the price of our flats, making them even more unaffordable! We might be just adding this cost burden to the people!
MR TEO (raising his voice): Low, we are living in a world class city and so a high cost of living is expected! Just like we have a world class transportation, so our public transport is expensive! We are world class leaders, so our salaries are expensive! If the locals want to have lower cost of living, they can go to those filthy third world countries like Indonesia! Hey, they are the ones who complained about the influx of foreign workers, so we're now raising the foreign worker levy to slow it down!
LOW: But Sir, instead of raising the levy which still might not work, based on the reasons that I have just stated, why don't we just cut down on the number and forget about the levy? Just put up a policy that businesses must have a higher local to foreigner employment ratio, like ten to one?
JOSEPHINE (interrupting): And so how does Mr Low propose that we allocate the foreign workers quota efficiently to businesses without a levy mechanism? Would it be right for civil servants to pretend to know all about market demand and supply? Removing a levy is turning a blind eye to the social disparities they create!
LOW (frowned): What are you talking about? We are selected by the people, and our salaries are paid by their taxes to work for them! Why must we pretend to know? How can we pretend that we've done our job? If we don't know about market demand and supply, we just have to get out of our cubicles and do some homework! I'm sure a couple of meetings with the right people should do the work! I believe that we can control the foreign workers quota without a levy mechanism! Why must anything and everything in the country be controlled by levies and fines?
JOSEPHINE (snapped): Why must we impose the levy? Do you know how much we're making from these foreign worker levies? It's just like the COE and ERPs that our LTA colleagues implement! Frankly, we don't care what is the local to foreign worker ratio! I don't care whether the waitress serving my salad is a local or from China, as long as she gets my order right! The primary aim of this foreign worker levy is not to slow down the influx, but to make more money for our country! For all you know, this foreign worker levy hike might just be enough to cover our losses from GIC and Temasek!

Mr Teo slammed his right palm on the table and pointed his finger at Josephine furiously. He was in such a wrath that his finger was shaking. Josephine was stunned and stopped talking abruptly.

MR TEO (thundering): Josephine! How many times must I remind you that nobody in this office should talk about the GIC or Temasek investments?

A small stream of perspire trickled down Josephine's cheek.

Jessica Tan,MP for East Coast GRC,Teo Siong Seng,Nominated MP,Josephine Teo,MP for Bishan-Toa Payoh GRC,foreign worker levy,budget debate

Don't you dare cast protest vote!

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM INTEGRITY - MORNING

Mr Teo and Mr Lee entered the room while chatting casually with each other. Ah Tan, Ah Lim, Ali and twenty over men and women stood up to greet the two men. Mr Teo signaled all to be seated.

MR TEO: Ladies and gentlemen, we're very honored to have Mr Lee here with us today. As the Chairman Mentor of the welfare committee, Mr Lee would like to talk to you about the upcoming welfare committee members election. Mr Lee, thank you.

As Mr Teo walked over to an empty seat at the front row, Mr Lee walked to the front of the crowd and adjusted his left sleeve cuff before he finally spoke.

MR LEE: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you're all very excited and are anticipating some tough fights in the upcoming welfare committee members election. Though my successor Logan and his team has been doing a really good job and it really makes no sense for his team to step down, I can see that the competition is getting strong, with the recent two high flyers joining Joshua's team, and of course not forgetting that Low's team is getting themselves prepared as well.

Mr Lee stopped when he found some whisperings and elbow-nudgings among the crowd. Hastily, Mr Teo stood up and faced the crowd.

MR TEO (sternly): People, if you've got any comments or questions, do feel free to put up your hands and let Mr Lee know. You should know that when Mr Lee speaks, he expects others to just keep quiet and listen. So please, if you don't have anything to share, keep quiet.

The crowd went dead silent and all stared at Mr Lee. Satisfied, Mr Teo bowed to Mr Lee and signaled him to continue, before sitting down.

MR LEE (cleared throat): I know a lot of you are upset about the recent hike of the season parking rate. However you need to understand that Logan's team has worked hard to fight for this subsidised price, below market rate, so that you can afford a parking lot, so that you know that your car is well-parked while you work. You should not find fault with the season parking policy, and if you do, you must be damn daft.

Ah Tan put up his right hand. Mr Lee nodded at him, signaling that he may speak. Ah Tan stood up.

AH TAN: But Sir, the season parking rate is really going through the roof, especially with the new employees joining the department. In fact season parking is so expensive now that some of us here have even stopped driving to work and are taking public transport instead!

Exclamations were audible among the crowd as Ah Tan sat down.

MR LEE: Yes, I do understand that with higher demand, the bidding of season parking lots has driven the season parking rate up. But you must also understand that the department cannot survive without new employees! So it is inevitable that the season parking rate should go up! This is life and you just have to take it! But at the same time, you can be rest assured that Logan and his team will definitely monitor the situation and ensure it does not get out of hand.

Ah Tan folded his arms and sighed. Ali then raised his right hand before standing up to speak.

ALI: Sir, there is also this thing about the coffee vending machines in the pantries.
MR LEE: What about it, son?
ALI: Sir, our coffee vending machines are getting more and more expensive! We used to get free coffee from the machines, then the committee said the management complained that too many people are crowding in the pantry for coffee break, so they started to charge us thirty cents per cup, so that we don't buy coffee too often and so will not hang around the pantries. Then later it is raised to fifty cents per cup because people are not deterred by the cheap thirty cents. Then eighty cents. Now some of the machines are like one dollar for a cup of latte! And I heard that on the ninth floor, there are four new coffee machines that are selling at two dollars a cup!

Ah Tan tapped Ali's leg to warn him that he has gotten too agitated. Quickly, Ali sat down.

MR LEE: I'm sorry to hear that, but this is something that we must do. Like you said, it all started from those days when the management complained to us that too many people are crowding in the pantries for coffee break. And this policy to make you pay for coffee does work, right? I'm sure your pantries are not as crowded these days during the peak tea-break hours, right?

Somebody in the crowd whispered loudly "Still crowded what".

MR LEE (clearing his throat): Okay, I know the pantries can still be crowded at times. But think of it this way. They'll be even more crowded if the coffee is still free! Remember this! The genuine purpose of making you pay for your coffee is to stop congestion in the pantries, not for the committee to make money out of you! You can't just blame this on Logan's team and stop voting for them!

Ah Lim held up his right hand and stood up to speak.

AH LIM: But Sir, those two high flyers that joined Joshua's team look promising, you know? They're both graduated from the University of Cambridge with First Class Honours! Shouldn't we give Joshua's team a chance to prove themselves?

Mr Lee frowned slightly and stood there staring at Ah Lim for a few seconds. Feeling slightly intimidated, Ah Lim sat down and tried not to look into Mr Lee's eyes.

MR LEE (sternly and loudly): University of Cambridge? First Class Honours? Is that what you look for in a welfare committee member? A welfare committee member should be judged not by his academic ability but what he can do for you! Yes, for Joshua's team, it's a change. In fact, it is a significant development. But people! You need to look at the person, not what degrees he has, but what he is able to do for you!

Somebody in the crowd whispered loudly "And what has Logan's team done so far".

Mr Lee squinted his eyes and tried to locate the person who said that, but everybody just stared at him blankly. Quickly, Mr Teo jumped up from his chair and walked to the front.

MR TEO (to the crowd): Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I think we've reached the end of today's meeting. Mr Lee is a very busy man so I really don't want to hold him up. Should we stand up and give Mr Lee a round applause?

All men and women in the room stood up and clapped their hands mechanically while Mr Lee left the room.


Don't cast protest vote, Candidates should be judged on what they can do, Ex-civil servants join Reform

The Prevention of Lesser Mortals Congestion in the IRs (PLCIR) project

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - EARLY MORNING

Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali were having their morning break at the pantry when Raymond walked in. Raymond walked over to their table and took the only empty seat left.

AH TAN: Hey, here for meeting?
RAYMOND: Yah, with Mr Teo.
AH LIM: Why? Going to build some more gantries? Or time to increase the buses and trains fares?
RAYMOND (chuckled): Hahaha... you're good! Yah, it's regarding the new gantries. This is part of the PLCIR project. Prevention of Lesser Mortals Congestion on the IRs. To prevent the new IRs from getting too over-crowded.
ALI: But Brudder, I thought the more people going to the IRs the better? Why want to control the number of people going there?
RAYMOND: Well, you're right and wrong. Here's the thing. We want as many tourists and rich and famous to go to the IRs. But not the locals. At least not those at the lower levels of the hierarchy.
AH LIM: Har? Lower levels of the hierarchy?
RAYMOND: Meaning those lowly educated lesser mortals who buy 4D, Totos and gamble at Genting and cruise-to-nowhere-to-gamble cruises. We are building sophisticated high class IRs around here, and we really don't need these lesser mortals anywhere near the IRs to spoil the image.
AH LIM: But I thought we're already imposing a hundred dollars entrance fee for the locals?

Ah Tan put down the coffee that he was sipping and laughed loudly.

AH TAN: Lim, if they can pay over a hundred dollars to go all the way up to Genting, or all the way out at sea to gamble, they'll pay the bucks to gamble at the IRs!

Ah Lim was stunned by his ignorance of the obvious and all men laughed at the joke.

AH LIM: So you're going to place these new gantries at Sentosa? Or Marina Bay?
RAYMOND: No, not Sentosa. All of the four new gantries that I'm suggesting will be placed around Marina Bay. One on the exit road from the Ayer Rajah Expressway, one on the Marina Station Road near the new MRT station and two on either direction of the new three-lane dual-carriageway Bay Bridge that links the new business and entertainment hub to Raffles Avenue.
ALI: Huh? None on Sentosa?

Ah Tan rubbed his chin slowly, then smiled and nodded.

AH TAN: Hahaha... Ali, I know what's on Raymond's sleeves. You see, if he were to place a gantry on Sentosa, only people on the island get charged. But if he were to place a gantry near Marina Bay, anyone in the country get charged as long as they use the road, even if they are not going anywhere near the Marina Sands IR at all!
ALI (hit his forehead): Adioy! Tan, you're right!

All men now laughed at Ali's ignorance.

RAYMOND: And anyway, as part of the PLCIR project, those SDC people has already increased the entrance fees for cars at least three folds from two dollars to six or seven. They're also going to implement more costly time-based parking charges. So I guess there is no need to put a gantry on Sentosa. At least not for now.

Raymond winked at Ah Tan and nudged him with a smile. Ah Tan knew immediately what Raymond had on his mind and laughed.

AH TAN (chuckled): Yap, the keyword is... not for now! Guys, remember Ray is still going to build the Sentosa Gateway Tunnel in 2015?
AH LIM, ALI (together): And?
AH TAN (smiling): Remember how many gantries did he place in the short KPE tunnel?

Both Ah Lim and Ali laughed and patted Raymond on his back.

RAYMOND (smiling): So as long as the cabs are charging more surcharges, and the island's shuttle bus service is as inefficient as the country's bus services, we should be able to keep the lesser mortals' interest in going to the IRs pretty low.


LTA,Land Transport Authority,SDC,Sentosa Development Corporation,Integrated Resorts,Sentosa,Marina Sands,Marina Bay,ERP

Coming up with re-interpreted local dishes fit for APEC

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM INTEGRATION - MORNING

Mr Teo, Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali were busy flipping through pieces of papers in their hands. On the white board, the words "Re-interpreted Local Favourites" was written. Mr Teo put down his stack of papers and looked up.

MR TEO: Gentlemen, shall we start? No worries about sounding ridiculous, just say out loud whatever that comes to your mind, and we can brainstorm from there. After all, we're not chefs.

All three men nodded in agreement and Mr Teo walked over to the whiteboard.

MR TEO: Okay, before we start, remember this. We want to offer local delicacies, but we don't want to look cheap. After all, those are world leaders. Plus we need to show these people that Singapore might be small, but we are rich and high class.
AH TAN: Shall we start with the starter? The chefs have suggested Rojak, but I'm rather hesitant with this choice as I know that prawn paste is not something that everybody appreciate, especially those ang mohs.
AH LIM: Hmm... maybe we should remove the prawn paste then? I know what! How about use chilli crab sauce instead? We can also add some Sri Lanka crab meat!
AH TAN: Er... Ah Lim, don't you think chilli crab sauce is kind of heavy for a starter?
AH LIM: Okay, so we forgo the sauce, just add the crab!
ALI: Why crab? I can never imagine crab and Rojak together...
AH LIM: But crab is one of the most expensive food that you can get at Clarke Quay!
MR TEO: But crab doesn't have the class.

The three men turned their head to look at Mr Teo.

MR TEO: Crab sounds too... how do I put it? Too unglam. Too rugged. I think lobster will be a better choice.
AH TAN, AH LIM (together): Oh yes! Lobster!
ALI: Lobster in a Rojak?
AH TAN: Yap, if we can have lobster salad, we can have lobster Rojak! And I suggest replacing those cucumber and tulip slices with watermelon cubes!
AH LIM, ALI (together): Watermelon?!?
AH TAN: Yes, watermelon! Firstly, it's a sweet and juicy fruit that can complement the taste of seafood, secondly it's a tropical fruit, and thirdly, it's in red and with the white lobster meat, it resembles our national colour!
MR TEO (grinning): Good idea, Tan!
AH LIM: Do we want to add some sauce to it? Like wasabi sauce?
MR TEO (shaking his finger): No, no, no... I've got a better idea. Caviar. Just a spoonful of caviar is enough to bring the whole dish up the luxury level.
AH TAN, AH LIM, ALI (together): Wow! Caviar!

Mr Teo paused a while staring at the whiteboard, then wrote "Poached lobster with watermelon and Japanese caviar".

AH LIM: And the other starter is Soto Ayam. I'll suggest changing the chicken to tiger prawns. Seafood more high class.
ALI: Er... Brudder, this is Soto Ayam and ayam means chicken you know? If we were to use tiger prawns, it'll become prawn noodles?
MR TEO: I agree with Ali. We want to change the cooking technique but retain the flavours. When you try the Soto Ayam and close your eyes, it should be exactly the flavour.
AH TAN: Maybe we could swap the chicken meat with turkey breast? Or pigeon meat? Turkeys, pigeons and chicks all belong to the same bird family, so we should be able to retain the ayam in Soto Ayam yeh?

Mr Teo rubbed his chin as he pore over what Ah Tan has just suggested.

MR TEO (shaking his head): No, Tan. I think I'll prefer the chicken to stay. Turkey sounds too... Christmas, and pigeons remind me of Hong Kong. I don't want these people to eat something here that reminds them of somewhere else.
AH LIM: So we retain the chicken but add tiger prawns?
ALI: Ah doi, you really like tiger prawns yeh?
AH LIM: Because tiger prawn is one of the most expensive food that you can get at Newton Circus!
AH TAN: I think I'll prefer scallop. Scallop is rather bland, so it will not change the taste of the soup. Plus scallop is expensive.
MR TEO: Fantastic! We should add scallop then!

Mr Teo wrote "Soto ayam with scallop mousse" on the whiteboard excitedly.

AH TAN: Sir, according to the menu, the suggested main course is braised beef short ribs. Isn't that Western food?
MR TEO: And your point?
AH TAN: There's nothing in this dish that signifies Singapore.
AH LIM: Yah, why not Bak Kut Teh or Chicken Rice instead?
MR TEO: No, guys. Though we want these visitors to have a taste of our local food, the main dish has to be Western. Only Western food is high class enough. You can't possibly serve these world leaders what the commoners eat at the hawker centers right?
AH TAN: Maybe we could add some five-spice sauce to the meat? At least make it more... exotic?
MR TEO (nodding): That's a good idea though.

On the whiteboard, Mr Teo wrote "Braised beef short ribs in five-spice sauce".

AH TAN: And last but not least, we've got Cheng Teng Jelly for dessert.
AH LIM: What's Cheng Teng jelly? It's either Cheng Teng or Grass Jelly. But Cheng Teng jelly? What are our top chefs thinking?
AH TAN: Ah Lim, this is fusion food! It's supposed to be cooked up with concoction of things that create confusion!
ALI: Just jelly? No coconut cream?
AH LIM: Yah, I agree with Ali! Like agar-agar, some coconut cream will make this whatever jelly more fragrant!
MR TEO: Coconut cream huh... hmm... but with a largely middle-aged crowd, we want the meals to be healthier, with less salt and sugar. Coconut cream is not very healthy right?
AH TAN: Panna cotta.

All heads turned to look at Ah Tan, puzzled by the words that he has just uttered.

AH TAN: We can add a panna cotta base to the jelly.
AH LIM: Er... Ah Tan, what is panna cotta? I only know Pina Colada.
AH TAN: Hahaha... Panna cotta is an Italian dessert made by simmering together cream, milk and sugar. Then this mixture is again mixed with gelatin, and let to cool till set.
ALI: Still milk what. Just that it has a fancy name.
MR TEO: But this fancy name sounds more high class! Okay, we shall have this then.

Finally, Mr Teo wrote "Cheng Teng jelly with a panna cotta base" on the whiteboard.

Soto ayam with scallop mousse,Rendang baked lobster,chilli crab with mango chilli salsa,Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation,APEC,Apec Singapore 2009

Press Freedom Index is pure rubbish

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - EARLY MORNING

Ah Tan was nonchalantly eating his fried carrot cake and sipping his coffee at the table when Shan stormed into the pantry. Shanmugam hit the coffee dispenser buttons as though he was playing jackpot and waited impatiently for his coffee. Finally the small paper cup of coffee was ready and he snatched it from the slot, walked over to Ah Tan's table and sat down heavily.

SHAN (snarled): Damn those stupid reporters without any borders!
AH TAN (swallowing his fried carrot cake and staring at Shan): Erm... Good morning.
SHAN: Did you hear? Those insolent foreign press ranked us 133rd on their nonsensical Press Freedom Index!
AH TAN (sipping his coffee): Oh, that. Okay what. 133rd is an improvement right? I thought we were like 144th previously?

Shan took too large a gulp and choked on his coffee. He thought he might have burnt his tongue at the same time.

SHAN (raving): What are you talking about? What improvement? We're at 133rd my friend! Not third! In fact the third place is still an insult! We should be first on the top of the list! Like anything else! This stupid ranking that place Singapore so lowly on press freedom is so absurd and divorced from reality!

Meanwhile, Ah Tan put the last small piece of fried carrot cake into his mouth and closed the foam box.

AH TAN: Well, Shan, maybe we're pushed down because of those big developed countries like U.S. and Japan, you know?
SHAN: No, no, no! We are ranked even lower than some of those countries trying to progress! Bangladesh is 121st! Even Cambodia is 117th! That does not make sense! My point is not that we are in any way inherently superior to them - the question is whether a truly objective assessment will give us such a ranking!
AH TAN (eyes wide opened): Wow, even Cambodia is better than us?
SHAN: You know, Tan, I think I know why we are been ranked so low. Remember we have had tussels and won law suits against with several newspapers such as the Wall Street Journal and Far Eastern Economic Review? These stupid foreign press are not used to this anywhere else in the world and they definitely don't like it one bit. So every Law suit is met with the same reaction - we are out to silence the press. That feeling has been pervasive and has coloured the general reporting on Singapore. This is not fair, man. This is not fair.

Shan shook his head and sipped his coffee. He then put down his coffee and continued.

SHAN: Actually our approach on press reporting is very simple. The press can criticize us, our policies. We do not seek to condemn that. But we demand the right of response, to be published in the journal that published the original article. We do not accept that they can decide whether to publish our response. That's all! Is that too much to ask for?
AH TAN: Huh? You mean the press can actually criticize our policies? Can disagree with what Boss says?
SHAN: Of course they can! But of course if they publish something stupid, and we rebuke them, then it is only fair that they also publish that right?
AH TAN (rubbing his chin): Hmm... so maybe that's why the press decided to filter their own content. So that there won't be too many articles of us scolding the journalists on the newspapers...
SHAN (ignoring what Ah Tan said): Anyway, the proof of our stability can be seen by the billions of dollars invested in Singapore annually by international organizations. Our main selling point is that there will be good value added when they invest here, their investments will be protected, and that we are a stable democracy. So we definitely deserve more than a dirty 133rd place!
AH TAN: Erm... But Shan, stability and foreign investment have nothing to do with press freedom...


K. Shanmugam,Press Freedom Index,Reporters without Borders

Must make sure all questions are appropriate!

INT.OFFICE - MEETING ROOM INTEGRITY - MORNING

Mr Teo walked into the room where Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali were already seated at the table. Sternly, he gave out stapled sheets of papers to the men. While Mr Teo made himself comfortable at the chairman seat, the three men quickly flipped through and attempted to speed read. However it appeared to be difficult as there were six sheets in each stapled set, printed on both sides.

MR TEO: Gentlemen, what you're holding now are the 180 questions that were submitted for Big Boss's ministerial forum at the university. The forum has been scheduled to be two weeks later and these questions were pre-submitted by the students. The purpose of this meeting is for you to assist me in filtering these questions.
AH TAN: Sir, let me split the work. Lim, why don't you take pages one and two, Ali, you take care of three and four, and I'll finish up five and six.

Ah Lim and Ali nodded and proceeded to read through the questions. Mr Teo stood up and walked towards the whiteboard. He began to write down a list of pointers as he spoke.

MR TEO: Okay gentlemen, as usual, these are the things to take note of. Most importantly, no political questions. Take out all questions that refer to or even remotely implying the opposition parties.
AH LIM: Sir, I've got one here that asked "Is the formation of GRCs really effective in managing the estates, or is it just a critical strategy to ensure the result of election? Will there be any regrouping of the GRCs again before the next election then?".
MR TEO (berated): That is audacious! How can a mere university student ask such question? Take it out immediately! How we group the GRCs is none of these students' or any citizens' business! It is a political strategy that they will never understand!

Ah Lim nodded and struck off the question with his pen. Ah Tan and Ali flipped through the papers and struck off some questions as well.

MR TEO: Take out those questions that present doubts on our policies. For example, all those questions on whether the Job Credits scheme really works? Take those out.
AH TAN: Sir, this one is kind of tricky. "The income gap in Singapore appears to be widening. Is the government going to do anything about narrowing it?"

Mr Teo rubbed his chin and looked up to the ceiling. A few seconds later, he walked back to the table.

MR TEO: Tan, do a research on the income gap of other developed countries. Countries like Japan, US, etc. If you can't find any other country with a income gap widening problem, take this question off. If you can, jot down the numbers for Big Boss.
AH TAN (taking down notes on the paper): Okay, will do.
MR TEO: Hmm... write this down as well. That if we set a minimum wage for the market, jobs will be cut. Employers who are forced to deal with higher staff costs would simply find ways to hire less people. This is one argument that Big Boss can use. In fact, we should even consider lowering the wages of those low income workers so that we can have a cheaper, better, faster workforce!

Ah Tan tried to scribble as fast as possible while Mr Teo continued.

MR TEO: Oh yes! And make sure you strike off all questions about Temasek's investments.

All three men hastily flipped through and struck off some questions. Mr Teo walked back to the white board to continue writing.

MR TEO: Take out those questions about why are we letting so many new immigrants into the country and why are we giving out PRs freely, blah blah blah. Boss has already told them that we'll scale down the number of new immigrants coming in, so I don't think Big Boss has to entertain any more of such questions.
ALI: Sir, I've got this question here. "With the influx of new immigrants, how does HDB plan to ensure the availability and affordability of HDB flats to Singaporeans?".

Mr Teo made a deep sigh at the question and shook his head.

MR TEO: I thought we have been through these trivial HDB issues already? I thought Mah has already chided these people not to be ridiculous about not able to get a new flat? I heard that he has even magically made it possible for HDB to suddenly release more than 7,000 flats on sale as soon as the next three months!
AH TAN: But Sir, I did an analysis on this public housing problem awhile back, and this is what I found. A new four-room flat in 2000 cost about $150,000. Today, a new four-roomer averages $265,000, based on HDB figures. The price increase is roughly 77 per cent. In comparison, the Department of Statistics put the median income for a resident household at $3,640 in 2000. Last year, this was $4,950, roughly a 36 per cent increase. So perhaps our flats are indeed getting less affordable for the people?
MR TEO: Well, that's true... but don't forget that these people are also receiving housing grants and other subsidies! Anyway, why should these students be even asking about HDB flats? It's not like they're planning to get married in the near future! Strike off those HDB questions!

The three men flipped through their papers and struck off some more questions.

MR TEO: So how many questions are we left with now?
AH TAN: I've got eight.
AH LIM: Twelve on my side.
ALI: I've ten questions here.
MR TEO: Great! Tan, compile these questions into a single sheet and hand it to me later!

Kent Ridge Ministerial Forum,Income gap,HDB Affordability

National Service is exclusive for Singapore men only, new immigrants not invited

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - EARLY AFTERNOON

Ah Tan was reading newspaper while nonchalantly sipping his coffee at the corner table. Ali and Ah Lim walked into the pantry and each dispensed a cup of coffee before making their way to the table. Just when their butts barely touched their seats, Mr Teo stormed into the pantry with a tight face and even tighter fists. He sat down at the table heavily and abruptly. The other three men held their breath and stared at Mr Teo.

AH TAN (cautiously and slowly): Sir, what's wrong?
MR TEO (irately): Stupid god damn PRC bitch!

The other three men took a deep breath and dared not exhale. Suddenly, as if remembering something, their eyes scanned around the pantry.

AH TAN (even more cautiously and slowly): Er... Sir, you do remember that we're not supposed to talk bad about the new immigrants?

Mr Teo folded his arms, sat back and took a deep breath himself.

MR TEO: Thanks for the reminder, Tan. But I believe Boss could forgive me this time. Do you know that this ungrateful PRC woman actually flashed her blue IC on China national TV while declaring her undivided loyalty to China?
AH TAN, ALI and AH LIM (exclaiming together): What the hell?!
MR TEO: Yap, this unappreciative woman came to Singapore to study, got her blue IC, got a job in a MNC, and now she's back to China. After all that we had provided her.
ALI: Apa ini?
AH LIM: Wah lao! With all the knowledge and working experience she learn here, some more must have also learn English! Must be making big bucks in China lah!

Mr Teo shook his head in dismay.

AH TAN: Hang on... Mr Teo, where did you get this piece of info from? Is the public aware of this?
MR TEO (sighed): I believe so. I got it from my friend's email. It was broadcast on CCTV, but I've already warned our TV stations to ensure that they do not screen it. I've also instructed the press to bring the article down from their online website. The only problem is that, we can't stop it from spreading among the netizens.
ALI: Sir, you don't have to worry about those netizens! They're just a minority anyway!
MR TEO: Well, that's true... but guys, we need to be careful, you know? The people are becoming very edgy these days, with the latest incidents like that birdbrained electronics firm that advertised that they were looking for preferably non-Singaporean engineer, and that harebrained movie company that gave free movie tickets to China citizens only on China National Day in Singapore!
AH TAN: But Sir, seriously, I think the gap between Singaporeans and the new immigrants is getting wider, even wider than that between the greater and lesser mortals.
AH LIM: Yah loh, Sir, more and more people are complaining that there are too many foreigners here to snatch their jobs, their hawker center tables and their MRT seats!
MR TEO: Yes, guys, I know exactly what you mean. That's why it's essential for Boss to convince the people that Singaporeans have still got other privileges.

The three men nodded in agreement.

MR TEO: Oh, and on that topic, can you guys help to brainstorm on what are the benefits of being a Singaporean? I need to put together some pointers for Boss's next speech.
AH LIM: Cheaper school fees!
ALI: But foreigners are also eligible for our tuition fee loan of up to 90% of course fees in our universities like Duke-Nus Graduate Medical School.
AH LIM (cleared throat): I mean primary and secondary schools lah!

The three men sat back, tilted their heads backwards, folded their arms and went into deep thought. Suddenly, Ah Lim opened his eyes.

AH LIM: I know there's this thing that only Singaporeans have and foreigners don't have!
ALL: What?
AH LIM (grinning): NS loh! Because Boss scared NS will scare those new immigrants away mah, so even their kids also don't need to serve NS! See! NS is only exclusively for Singapore guys! Not Singaporean, don't have NS for you!

Zhang Yuanyuan,Ektronics Pte Ltd,Golden Village,National Service

It serves no strategic purpose to tell the public why Chip left

INT.OFFICE - PANTRY - LATE AFTERNOON

Ah Tan was sipping his coffee at the corner table, glancing at his watch every now and then nonchalantly. Ali and Shan walked into the pantry. While Ali dispensed a cup of tea from the coffee machine, Shan sat down at the table and made his own 3-in-1 coffee.

AH TAN: Wow, Shan, your 3-in-1 coffee sure looks new to me.
SHAN: Oh... this is the latest 3-in-1 coffee with collagen added. Friend, collagen is important to us, you know? We're using our overworked brains like 25 hours a day and if you're not careful, you'll find all the white hair and wrinkles popping up! Just look at Boss! Or even look at George! See how they've aged over the years?
AH TAN: Oh... so collagen will keep you staying young?
SHAN: Yap! It's the same thing my wife is having, so we can't be wrong! Hahaha...

Ali walked over to sit down as Shan chuckled at his own joke.

ALI: Hey brudder, did you read the news today? President Ma and his senior officials apologized for not doing more and not fast enough in the typhoon emergency! They even bow to the people sia!
AH TAN: Serious? Bow to the people?
ALI (nodding): Yap, and from the photo, it looks like they bowed damn low man!
AH TAN: Wow, I think they kana influenced by the Japanese liao!
SHAN (shaking his head and frowning): Unacceptable!
AH TAN: Yah, I guess they were really too slow in deploying their troops to save the people.
ALI: Machiam Hurricane Katrina that time lah!
SHAN: Nonono, I think you've mistaken me. I'm not saying that it's unacceptable for them to react slow. I'm saying it's unacceptable for them to bow to the people.

Both Ah Tan and Ali paused from drinking and stared at Shan.

SHAN (jerking his head sideways and aloft right palm simultaneously): How can the government even apologize to its people? And to even bow? That is so wrong!
AH TAN (raising left eyebrow): Erm... and so what should they have done?
SHAN: Very simple! All they've to do is to simply say "We admit it's a mistake. Now let's move on"! That's how we would have handled it right?
AH TAN (nodding): That's true... like how we had handled the Mas Selamat case.
ALI: But even after they've apologized, I'm sure this incident will affect the peoples' impression of the government's ability to handle crisis.
SHAN: Nonono... it's not fair for the people to think this way.
ALI: Not fair?

Shan took a quick sip from his 3-in-1 coffee with collagen.

SHAN: It's like a dent on a car.
ALI (baffled): Apa?
SHAN: This flood incident. It's as if you met with a minor accident and now there's a little dent on the car body. We can't deny it is a dent in the President Ma and his government's reputation. And I agree it's a very visible dent in the fender. But there is no damage to body parts, no damage to axle, no damage to engine. You can still drive the car around and years later, you might not even notice the dent anymore!
AH TAN: So President Ma shouldn't be bothered with how he had screwed up this flood emergency rescue, just like how Temasek shouldn't be bothered with its CEO saga?
SHAN (patting Ah Tan on his shoulder): Exactly!

Ali put down his tea and nudged Shan.

ALI: Hey brudder, talk about Temasek, why exactly did that Chip left? Money no good?

Shan stared at Ali and held his breath, apparently blindsided by the unexpected question.

SHAN: Ali, you know we shouldn't be talking about this right?
ALI (giving Shan an apologetic look): Just curious lah, brudder! But didn't the people ask you? Or the press?
SHAN: Well, people do want to know, there is curiosity; it is a matter of public interest. But that is not sufficient reason to disclose information. I totally understand the interest, but it serves no strategic purpose.

Ah Tan rubbed his chin and tried to digest Shan's answer.

AH TAN: So you're saying, the people are only kaypo on why Chip left, and tell them also no use because it's not as if they can help or make the difference?
SHAN: Erm... kind of...
AH TAN: And even if you tell them, they might not understand as well, so don't waste you time?
SHAN (patting Ah Tan on his shoulder): Exactly!

All three men chuckled and drank their tea and coffee.

AH TAN: Hey Shan, so your side is not going to interfere with Temasek's CEO recruitment right?
SHAN (shaking his head): No Tan, not at all. Once we interfere in what goes on in Temasek, then we are, over time, changing the character of that relationship between us and Temasek, where it's a relationship that clearly designates Temasek as independent of us in its operations including its internal governance procedures. Internal governance should be managed by Temasek's board.
ALI (interrupting): So that when anything ever cocks up again, Temasek's board will bow and apologize but never us, right?

Tharman Shanmugaratnam,Temasek,Charles Chip Goodyear,President Ma Ying-jeou

That CEO appointment was too much for him to handle

INT.OFFICE - NOTHISYEAR'S ROOM - LATE NIGHT

Nothisyear was flipping through files of documents, hot and flustered, then followed by typing furiously on his computer. Every few minutes, some profanities were sputtered. Meanwhile, someone knocked on his door and walked in. Nothisyear looked up and found Ah Tan.

AH TAN: Wow, pal, you look like shit!
NOTHISYEAR (signed): Damn, you're telling me! Tan, I don't think I can do this anymore! I'm walking away!
AH TAN (stumped): What? Why? I thought you were doing pretty well these few months?
NOTHISYEAR (shaking his head): Tan, you've got no idea how haphazard this place is!
AH TAN: But I thought you were already making headway saving the company? I remembered you were so ecstatic when you shared your ideas with me!
NOTHISYEAR (agitated): Tan, I don't wanna hang around staring at the demise of this institution!
AH TAN: Hey pal, you needa bolster up your morale man! Where have all your exhilaration gone?
NOTHISYEAR (sternly): Tan, you've got no idea how murkey this institution is! I thought this appointment would look pretty fancy on my resume, but boy was I wrong!

Nothisyear leaned back heavily on his chair and signed again, shaking his head again.

NOTHISYEAR: Tan, I know I had started quite a number of initiatives with the objective to strengthen the foundation of this institution. But looking at how the previous guy, I meant lady, had botched up, I would be deluding myself that this institution could see its previous long lost glory!
AH TAN (eyes wide opened): Wow, it's that bad huh?
NOTHISYEAR (leaning towards Ah Tan): You know, after I had taken over the appointment, I had to recreate all the policies, work processes and systems! Basically I'm reinventing this institution!

Ah Tan laughed gleefully at Nothisyear's last remark. Nothisyear bursted into laughter too and punched Ah Tan lightly on his shoulder.

NOTHISYEAR: Hey! Stop taunting me!
AH TAN: But things should turn out fine after your initiatives started to be implemented right?
NOTHISYEAR (hestitating): Well, should be... but there'll still be red tapes to be bucked, and I'm not sure how seriously these red tapes will encumber my ideas.
AH TAN (rubbing his chin): Oh yeah, the red tapes...
NOTHISYEAR: And besides, this institution has made so many unfathomable investments in the past that, I'm not sure how many punches I have to receive before my initiatives even started to take effect! And the worst thing is, the public might even think that I'm responsible for these investment losses! They'll say 'hey, this new guy ain't making any difference! Look! The institution is still making losses!'
AH TAN: Yah, it sucks when you've to clear the shit left behind by your predecessor!

Nothisyear slammed his palms on the table and stood up.

NOTHISYEAR: Anyway, enough is enough! I'm getting out of here, man!
AH TAN (stood up from his seat): Seriously?
NOTHISYEAR (nodding): Yap, serously! Let's go for some beer! I'll hand my letter to the board tomorrow!

Nothisyear took his coat and walked over to Tan, putting his hand around Tan's shoulder.

AH TAN: No regrets?
NOTHISYEAR (laughing): No way!

Temasek,Goodyear,Ho Ching,CEO