Friday, July 23, 2010

Please pay $188 and help us evaluate the YOG Village

This has been reported on the Straits Times...

Free YOG Village stay for 200 boys

The ’stay and play programme’ , which spans two days and one night, gives organisers a chance to test the Village’s readiness to host the world’s best young athletes during the August 14-26 inaugural Youth Olympic Games in Singapore.

Participants will tuck into the same buffet spread that will be served during the Games, spend a night in the rooms where the athletes will stay, and attend cultural and educational activities….

A $150 early-bird fee was charged for those who signed up before June 30, and $188 for those who signed up after.

Youth Olympic Village director Sheryl Lim said participants are required to pay fees to defray the costs of meals and services at the Village.

About 1,000 people have signed up for the programme.

I'll say the organiser is really doing very well in leveraging on Singapore resources, Singaporean parents in particularly.

The organiser knows they have to test the YOG Village’s readiness because just like all other International events and conferences, we must display only our very best. Regardless how far from reality the beautiful picture we have painted for our visitors really is.

So the organiser has to get their feedback before the real guests are here. Are the beds as comfortable as those found in hotels? Can the toilets be flushed? Are there enough bathrooms? And is the buffet spread good enough to invite Buffetlicious' Michelle Chai over for lunch?

And since this is the Youth Olympics Games, the best test candidates will be the local students! Till now, everything seems fair enough. But wait! Here's the bizarre part! In order to help the organiser test out the YOG Village’s readiness, the local students have to pay up to $188! Oh yeh, they have got to pay up so that they have a chance to help out! Though in the real world, we don't ask the interns to pay us to come work in our office.

The organiser may argue that somebody needs to foot the bill for the room, the buffet lunches and dinners, and not forgetting the exciting cultural and educational activities! But, really? Can't they grab some out of the S$387 million pool?

Monday, July 19, 2010

Revised Standard Operating Procedure for Handcuffing Public Taking Photographs

The people were in shock knowing that a newspaper photographer has been handcuffed by the police for taking photographs of flood on the road. In rage, the public questioned why the police arrested the photographer in question when he was simply doing his job.

According to a piece of unreliable information leaked from an unrelated personnel, the police has realised the damage this handcuffing incident has done on their little reputation, and decided to revamp the Standard Operating Procedure of handcuffing the public.

Revised Standard Operating Procedure for Handcuffing Public Taking Photographs (SOPHPTP)

In all scenarios, before handcuffing subject in question, approach and ask for identity:
  • If subject works for the press, grant permission to carry on, render help if necessary. Handcuffing a press journalist will guarantee negative press coverage for the police for a very long time.

  • If subject is a blogger, leave him/her alone. Handcuffing a blogger will guarantee negative comments on blogs, Twitter, Facebook and all over the internet almost immediately.

  • If subject is a Stomper, confiscate camera so that the photograph will not make it to Stomp.

  • If subject is taking photographs purely for own collection and album, not related to anyone in the press and has no idea what is social media, handcuff him/her on the ground of causing obstruction to the police officer in the discharge of his duties and causing danger to himself and others.

Photographer handcuffed

THE flood last Saturday morning not only dampened the mood of residents who woke up surrounded by rainwater but also that of photojournalist Shafie Goh.

The 57-year-old veteran Lianhe Wanbao photojournalist was snapping shots of the flood in the Bukit Timah area when he was told by a policeman to move away. Minutes later, he was handcuffed.

What happened before the handcuffs were used is a matter of dispute: Mr Goh said he was asked to go only once and was about to leave when the police handcuffed him. The police, however, said that they had repeatedly asked Mr Goh to leave before they resorted to using force.

Speaking to The Straits Times on Sunday, Mr Goh said he was standing on a manhole trying to get a picture of some partially submerged cars when he was told by an officer to leave.

A police statement released on Sunday, however, said that officers had repeatedly asked Mr Goh to move to a safe place as he was taking photographs in a dangerous position. But the man refused to comply and continued walking along the road divider, snapping pictures.

A spokesman said: 'As he was causing obstruction to the police officer in the discharge of his duties and causing danger to himself and others, the officers decided to restrain him and move him to safe grounds, but the man resisted and put up a struggle.' The officers then had to handcuff him.

Friday, July 16, 2010

What should be taught in the Safe Cycling Clinic for foreign workers


Ah Tan, Ah Lim and Ali were all flipping through and reading some papers at the meeting table. Ah Tan then walked up to the whiteboard and wrote the words "Safe cycling clinic for foreign workers in Singapore".

AH TAN: Okay guys, I've called for today's meeting to brainstorm on the syllabus for the Safe Cycling Clinic that we're planning for those foreign workers. Mr Teo needs this before the parliament meeting next week, so this is high priority.
AH LIM (rubbing his chin): Why only for foreign workers? I thought locals cycle also?
AH TAN: Yes, locals cycle too, but they don't cycle as if their grandfathers own the road!

All three men chuckled.

AH TAN: Anyway, last year, foreign workers made up one third of cyclist fatalities in Singapore, and we don't want to see them making up two third this year. So the North East CDC has suggested for this Safe Cycling Clinic. Let's work on it!

All three men folded their arms and leaned back on their chairs, all deep in thoughts. Suddenly Ah Lim opened his eyes and walked up to the whiteboard to write "Do not cycle next to the bus".

AH LIM: They should learn that here buses are kings. If all cars have to give way to the buses, don't expect the buses to give space to cyclists!

Both Ah Tan and Ali nodded in agreement. Then Ah Tan walked up to write "Do not cycle on the pedestrian crossing".

AH TAN: Pedestrian crossings are... for pedestrians. We've got enough cars knocking down pedestrians at pedestrian crossings. We don't need cyclists to help bring up the number. And this as well.

Ah Tan wrote "Do not cycle side by side" on the whiteboard.
AH LIM: Wah! They think everywhere East Coast Park ah!

Then Ali walked up and wrote "Do not cycle on the expressway" and both Ah Tan and Ah Lim shouted "Wow!".

AH TAN: Seriously? Cycle on the expressway?
ALI: Tan, I've seen cyclists on the AYE, KPE and BKE okay! These burgers must have thought they can cycle at 80km/hr!
AH LIM (berating): And these burgers deserved to be knocked down! Hello? When some idiot hog the road at 80km/hr, we already tailgate him like nobody's business. Now cyclist on expressway? They're just trying to be knocked down by cars! Oh! That also reminds me!

Ah Lim walked up and wrote "Do not cycle against the traffic".

AH TAN: Seriously? Against the traffic?
AH LIM: Stupid right? And this one!

Ah Lim continued to write "Do not beat the red lights".

All three men sighed and shook their heads.

AH TAN: You know, guys, sometimes I really wonder, is this how these guys cycle in their own countries? Then why are they still alive?
ALI: Because these behaviors are norm in their countries lah!
AH TAN: Well, then either these countries have no law, or their people have no brain.
AH LIM: Hey Tan, Boss said we're going to bring in at least 100,000 more foreign workers leh! Maybe we should do this Safe Cycling Clinic at their countries before we even let them into the country, if not very luan leh!

All three men looked at each other with mouths and eyes wide opened.



Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Pole-dancing required to make YOG Opening Ceremony the "The Best Show on Earth in 2010"?

So former Sydney stripper is hired to choreograph part of the opening ceremony for the Youth Olympic Games huh? I suppose this means the organisers are serious in making the YOG opening ceremony the "The Best Show on Earth in 2010"? Or does that only simply means the YOG opening ceremony tickets are not selling? No matter, the officials definitely have a strong enough reason for doing that. Something that we the lesser mortals could never think of, hack! We'll never imagine putting exotic pole-dancing together with sports for the young!

Now the important question is... where are the dancers coming from? I'll think it is safe to assume that most of the Singaporean men would cross their fingers that the dancers were hand-picked from Hooters, or any other pubs in Clarke Quay, and that they won't be as Ah Lian looking as those Miss Universe Singapore contestants!

Pole-dancing Bobbi to open Youth Olympic Games in Singapore

A FORMER Sydney stripper has taken pole dancing out of Kings Cross and on to the world stage - having been chosen to choreograph part of the opening ceremony for the Youth Olympic Games in Singapore next month.

Bobbi, who owns Bobbi's Pole Studios, said she never imagined she could make an international career out of exotic dance.

The former stripper left home at 19 to work in a club in Japan. Now 22 years later, she teaches pole dancing to women from all walks of life, with two studios in Sydney, one in Perth and one each in Kuala Lumpur and Singapore.

Bobbi said preparations had been underway for months for the opening ceremony of the World Youth Olympics in Singapore on August 14.

"It's a night of firsts," Bobbi said.

Twenty podiums and poles will be erected among the seating at the giant stadium, with the dancers performing 5m above the audience.