Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Our athletes are under obligation to be in their best behaviour when they wear the Singapore colours!


Ah Koh knocked delicately on the cubicle wall before walking in. Ah Tan put down the papers he was reading and gestered Ah Koh to the seat in front of his desk. He had a slight frown on his face.

AH TAN: Koh, I understand that we're going to play host to the first ever Asian Youth Games in Singapore this year.
AH KOH: Yes, Sir. We are. The AYG Singapore 2009 was part of our bid plan to the IOC for the YOG in 2010.
AH TAN (raising an eyebrow): But I can't help to notice that there is zero participation from our athletes ?
AH KOH: Er... yes Sir, unfortunately all of our athletes are unable to participate in the event.
AH TAN (pulling both eyebrows together into a frown): And can you tell me why is this so?
AH KOH (muttering): Er... all of them are still in suspension...
AH TAN (eyes wide opened): What? You guys suspended all of our athletes?

Ah Koh rounded his back slightly and gave Ah Tan an embarrassed smile.

AH TAN: Okay... I know about that two triathletes caught alone together in a hotel room, and that three bowlers caught drinking. So what about the rest? I suppose our swimmers were not caught smoking from a bong right?

Ah Koh quickly took out the little black notebook in his right trousers pocket and fumbled through the pages.

AH KOH: No they were not... but they were suspended for allegedly smoking their instructors when asked what time did they sleep the night before.
AH TAN: Oh... then how about our beach volleyball players?
AH KOH: Suspended because their bikinis were too revealing.
AH TAN: Their bikinis too revealing? Weren't they supposed to be wearing uniform?
AH KOH: Ah, no... we tried to be more liberal and flexible, so they were allowed to wear their own bikinis.
AH TAN: I see... Hmm... our basketball players?
AH KOH: Their hair were too long. All of them had their hair over the eyebrows. Our rules stated that when combed downwards, the hair should not cover the eyes. And for a couple of them, their hair at the back even touched the collar!
AH TAN (astounded): All of them did not cut their hair?
AH KOH: Yes, they tried to argue that they did not have the time to visit the barber because of the tight training schedule to prepare them for the coming competitions. But these are just excuses! They could have gone for a cut during lunch time or any of their few hours of rest time!
AH TAN: That's true. How about those sailing athletes?
AH KOH: For eating chocolate bars during their 12 hours non-stop training in the sea.
AH TAN: Soccer players?
AH KOH: For chewing gums during competition in Malaysia.
AH TAN: Shooters? I mean those athletes in the shooting sports?
AH KOH: Making too much noise during their training.
AH TAN (pausing): Wait a minute... I don't suppose shooting is a quiet sports...
AH KOH: No, no, Sir. They were not penalised for the noise from their shootings. They were penalised for talking too loudly. In fact they were caught shouting to each other.
AH TAN: Geez, that's rude. How can they treat their own teammates in such manner?
AH KOH (nodding): Precisely! And they actually blamed it on their ear-plugs!
AH TAN (sighing): Youngsters these days! How about our divers?
AH KOH (took a deep breath): Oh this one is serious... The instructors caught the male and female divers diving in the same swimming pool!
AH TAN (right hand slapped on his desk): Scandalous!

Ah Tan leant back on his chair momentarily to cool himself down. He flipped through the papers on his desk again.

AH TAN: Ah yes... our table tennis players. What's wrong with them? I'm anticipating more medals from them!
AH KOH: Oh... they are the worst... what they did was really unforgivable...
AH TAN (sternly): What did they do? Not obeying their new instructor?
AH KOH: Worse... we caught them communicating with that fired ex-instructor on Facebook during the Chinese New Year, arranging to meetup for Lo Hei!
AH TAN (stood up and pounded his hands on his desk): Such audacity!



No comments:

Post a Comment