Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The 20 percent pay cut is necessary to please the lesser mortals


Ah Tan knocked before he walked into Mr Teo's cubicle. Ah Chong was already seated in front of Mr Teo's desk. Mr Teo had a sad and excruciating look. He gestured Ah Tan to the seat next to Ah Chong.

MR TEO: Tan, sit.
AH TAN: Thank you, Sir. Susan said you were looking for me?
MR TEO: Yes. I've just come back from a meeting with the Boss.
AH TAN: Oh... some bad news?
MR TEO: Yes, I'm afraid so...

Ah Tan and Ah Chong looked at one another with edgy eyes.

MR TEO (taking a deep breath): Gentlemen, the worst has finally happened. The Boss has decided on a tweleve to twenty percent pay cut. For MR4, it'll be twenty percent. For SR9, it'll be tweleve percent.
AH TAN and AH CHONG (bellowing): What?!!
MR TEO: Sigh... yah, I didn't expect a twenty as well...
AH TAN (standing up and protesting): A twenty percent pay cut? And what does that leave me with? A mere $1.54 million annual income? That's harsh!
AH CHONG (standing up and protesting): Yah! And why are the SR9s getting only a tweleve percent cut? That's not fair!
MR TEO: Gentlemen! Calm down! I still need you to pass this piece of news to your men!

Ah Tan and Ah Chong sat back on their seat quietly.

AH CHONG: When will the cut start?
MR TEO: I'm not told. I suppose it'll be soon.
AH TAN: Why this sudden decision? Because of the economy?
AH CHONG (muttering): Maybe our salary made lesser mortals envious and they thought maybe we shouldn't earn so much just because they are getting retrenched?
MR TEO: Well, the Boss said that since our salaries are linked to economic performance, we have to make the adjustments, given the volatility of the economy.

Ah Tan and Ah Chong let out an excruciating and loud sigh.

MR TEO: Anyway, go tell your men about this piece of news and if there's any questions, let me know.
AH TAN and AH CHONG: Yes Sir.


Ah Lim sat uptight in front of Ah Tan's desk. Ah Tan laid back on his seat sluggishly, apathetic.

AH LIM (fuming): What the hell? Twenty percent cut?
AH TAN: Sigh... what to do? The Boss want to please the lesser mortals what...
AH LIM: Walau eh! Do you know that I've just placed an order for the 750Li?
AH TAN: Wow! The BMW 7 series ah? I heard that it's good, how much are you paying for it?
AH LIM (frowning): S$428,800.
AH TAN: Okay lah, you can afford this what!
AH LIM: But still!
AH TAN: The most sell away your 650i loh! Anyway I don't really see you driving it.
AH LIM: Friend, that's a cabriolet leh, how to drive to work? Yah... maybe I should sell it away, anyway it's getting two years old.
AH TAN: Well, guess this bad economy is affecting us after all.
AH LIM (letting out a loud sigh): Yah...



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